My parents visited me today.

and it felt really good just to be hugged. and missed.

I think my parents and I are finally connecting over something; the fact that despite how much we bother each other, it’s really easy to miss one another.

I don’t miss the rules I lived under at home, but I miss the people. The people in my life are what make me happy about my own life, but sometimes the peopleĀ 

I kind of feel like I don’t know anyone in my life as well as I want to, which makes me really sad. I know this is really random but when my nana died 4 years ago, I felt like I always knew my nana, but then at her funeral, people were talking about her in different ways that I had never ever known about her.

I know not everyone in my life is going to die within the next 24 hours, but it really makes me wonder if I know the real them. Do I only know them from how I see them in the perspective of my life? How can human nature have a natural instinct to judge people, when we have no clue what they’ve been through, no clue who they are except for when they are in our presence?

I don’t want to live in regret of not knowing someone important to me as much as I should. for example, my mom. She bothers me so much about so many things and there are so many times that she just makes me want to scream and hurt myself. But the thing is, I know almost zero about her life before my brother and I. I know nothing of any relationships she’s had in the past, like I found out the other day she was in a long distance relationship for 4 years during college, and the guy ditched her after 4 years. I found this out now, when I’m in college, in a similar situation. I feel like I should have known that before. I feel like I’m a failure as a daughter because I don’t give as much interest in my parents lives. They’re such important people, and I feel like ever since my junior year when I dated someone they disapproved that I haven’t given them any chances to know what’s going on with me.

It’s amazing how my parents still love me, because I am such a bitch for not giving them my attention.

I love my mom and dad.